it’s me in your glass

the rain, she’s so beautiful.  damn english papers… damn honors classes giving assignments due a month before school starts back up again.  damn rain, stop taunting me.  maybe i’ll say this is enough to write, it’s only summer work anyway, nothing important.  i can always bring up my grade.  stupid rain.

thanks for not calling when you said you would. again. thanks for making me think you need me when i’m really the one who needs you. i need to be needed. that’s what drives me. why else should i live? i don’t care enough to live for myself. so here i am again, up later than i can justify remembering that you should’ve called me. but didn’t. so thanks a lot.

not.

maybe this is enough. maybe this is just enough. give me more. please. she is nothing. who is she? no she is. the ones that want me i don’t want. the ones i want don’t want me. but what do i want? who knows?

after seeing ‘i now pronounce you chuck and larry’ last night, it really makes me sad to say that too many people in this world are worried about other people’s business. gays. fuck you if you’re offended at gays. fuck you if you think that you’re better than people who like it in the butt. why should you judge them? you say you’re afraid they’ll try to hit on you… but lets think about it like this: if you’re straight, are you going to hit on every person of the opposite sex? are you going to try to fuck them while they’re not looking? will you be in the ally waiting to rape them? hopefully you answered no. isn’t it the same way with gays and lesbians? they aren’t going to be waiting until you bend over to pick up the soap to rape you. they’re not going to hit on you like you fear. they’re going to act like a friend when you need it. they’re going to be your insight into worlds you’ve never known. unless you act with your sick bigotry and drive them away.

hopefully if you haven’t seen that movie, you will venture out of your safe home and, with an open mind, view a film that attempts to change what has become of the world. see the pain many homosexuals experiance from bigotted bastards like you. and change to a more accepting person you should be.

but if you’re already a tolerant citizen, thank you.

this one’s for the person who commented after somehow finding this blog that’s been active for like 3 minutes.

what the hell? as you should be able to tell, my posts don’t have meaning, they ramble, and they go on separate tangents without purpose. get over it.

some people in the world think it’s up to them to seek out other people’s mistakes and point them out to not only the person, but also to everyone else they can see.

but if you’re offended at what i say in here, you’re stupid. nothing is personal. it’s for me, not against you.

you’re not better than me. it just seems that way. the way you never call. the way you’re never there. the way you don’t even attempt to contact me. you’re not only a gender of indifference, you’re a gender of always trying to be better than me, and always worrying about it. i think you are god and you don’t think about it. i’m a slave to you. just another guy. just another mouth. just another heart. but is it like that? should you really believe that i’m just another one? you don’t even know me. why am i the one who makes you think? why am i the one who makes you yearn for more. you need me. i can be yours. but i don’t get the chance. leave your boyfriends.

too fucking happy. why can’t blogs just all be the same style? why can’t i use my own template that says, “i’m pissed, so i’m writing here.” but no, they’re all too smiley. it’s hard to find inspiration when i’m staring at a bright white screen. maybe listening to emo music will help. emotions are what everything is about, after all. right? so stop being so fucking happy.

whatever. your phone’s ringing. if you answer, enjoy. if not, goodnight. this is for you.

then again, i’m tired. skin so smooth. i’m in the mood for something new.

call me up, i’m interested.

why should i go to sleep? i don’t want to sleep. but why should i stay up? i have nothing to do. i wish someone would call me. i wouldn’t mind a friendly voice. someone who cares. i’d rather you actually care if you call upon me. i don’t want to be the one caring about you. it’s time for you to talk to me about me. not to me about you. i need some care too. because what if i run out of care. i need to borrow some of yours. cuz you have most of mine right about now. hope you’ve had your fill, i’m running out of ideas. but i care. for a reason unbeknown to me.

forget the things they told you. they lie. i don’t lie. i can save you. trust in me.